Paris elephants

So Paris wants to save drunk elephants.

Here’s the thing with the article I read on the phenomenon (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071113/ap_en_ot/people_paris_hilton). The Indian guys who are interviewed sound really serious. Like they have no idea who PH is and are feeling pretty buoyed up by her sudden interest in their elephants. No doubt she will get the proper vaccinations in a timely manner, they assure each other.

But then all at once, the full quote hits and it’s like, wait. Are these homeboys making fun of her?

Watch:

REALLY SERIOUS:

“I am indeed happy Hilton has taken note of recent incidents…”

SATIRICAL PUNCH:

“…of wild elephants in northeast India going berserk.”

FOR REAL, THE BITCH IS COMING:

“…Hilton should, in fact, think of visiting this region literally infested with elephants.”

SHE’S DUMB:

“As part of her global elephant campaign…”

And then the final ambiguous kicker:

“Elephants appear on human settlements … because they have no habitat left due to wanton destruction of forests. A celebrity like Hilton must focus her attention on this fact.”

A celebrity like Hilton? Focus her attention? It makes no sense.

I’m thinking they don’t know who she is, they think she’s coming, and they just happen to use awesome phrases like “elephants going berserk” and “global elephant campaign” without any ironic intent. I’m thinking I’m in a position to know this because I’ve been to India and they do speak awesomely, saying things like, “The rings are passing,” when I would just say, “No one’s picking up the phone.”

And now, a drawing:

Hello world!

Last night I went to a David Bowie party. I was Iman.

At one point, I felt strongly that there was something I needed to say. But the people around me were talking.

So I shouted: “Listen to Iman!” Firmly, and with full knowledge of my own beauty.

The people around me stopped talking immediately.

It made me want to be Iman.